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about

Bud Longtooth wrote and recorded these lyrics after a sweaty day delivering gas cylinders with a new drivers mate, the real Sergeant Vol au Vent. A former Sergeant in the catering corps and a real life bruiser, he spent the day reciting his tales of how to julienne carrots, he really did make puff pastry swans on a bed of chocolate for the officers. When he left the RAF he went back to his estate where he took on the local yobs, they jumped him one night and he beat them off and ended up on charges.
Bud emailed his drum loop and vocal to old pal Robber, he called by the next night with Zoe Charles and dropped the guitar and bass. This was released to myspace about 2003. We left the track there until Robber found the CD at home on his bus about 2014.... and we later decided to remaster and release it, not knowing this was the birth of Twat Monkey... we had great fun making the video too!

lyrics

Sargeant Vol-au-vent catering not dropping bombs
He's a nice man if you behave
He'll do you puff pastry swans on a bed of chocolate
As long as you don't rant and rave
He's the dickheads nightmare
from the officers mess
And he'll julienne your carrots if you don't give him stress
It'll take more than a 4x2 to bring him down
He'll rap you round the lamp post you stupid clown
He's a lapdog lizard
Wanna smash him
Bash him
Rearrange
De fasc him
Spoken like a wanker
Running from the prankster
You got no chance
You got no chance

credits

released October 9, 2020
Bud Longtooth (Greg Semple) vocals and beats
Robber Byker (Ian Reynolds) Guitar
Zoe Charles Bass
Lynda Holton backing vocals

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all rights reserved

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Twat Monkey Leicester, UK

Robber Byker found a cd of Bud's tunes on his bus about 2014, including Sergeant Vol au vent which he played on some 13 years before, finally deciding they were brilliant after all so we started Twat Monkey....We fell out for a while and Bud continued with Wasterman forming Longtooth & Wasterman, the two acts have now merged, please also have a look at longtoothandwasterman.bandcamp.com ... more

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